I have lots of conversations with my kids that just make me want to scream with frustration or laugh out loud.
One of their favorite topics is how we can use household items as weapons.
Let me stop you right there and just say NO! This can never go well. Never ever.
Yesterday I told Harry Potter about 1200 times that the throw pillows were not ninja stars. I get that they are light enough to throw, but large enough to hit the target no matter how bad your aim is… but no. These throw pillows are meant to be decorative! Ok I bought them at Ikea, but still!
I’m a firm believer that there is absolutely no reason for a child to touch a throw pillow.
My kids disagree.
So we were attempting to eat dinner.
Let’s take a second and ask why were we “attempting” to eat, instead of actually eating. Dinner was prepared and on the table, personally I think everyone should have been sitting nicely in their seats, expressing gratitude that they weren’t going hungry, but that’s a conversation for another day.
Ok back to the story.
We were attempting to eat dinner, which basically means I was feeding the Princess, and the two maniacs were running around the living room and kitchen while Mr. Spreadsheets attempted to eat his food, tell me about his day, and get them to eat.
None of those things were going well… shocking, I know. So there we were attempting to eat despite the whining and screaming.
Mr. Spreadsheets, the Princess, and I finished up dinner, and I went outside to grab something.
I had been out there about 12 seconds, the amount of time it takes to walk across our yard, when Mr. Spreadsheets marched Harry Potter outside and said “Tell your mother what you did.” Let’s acknowledge that whenever the name changes from “Mom” to “your mother” things are not happy.
Mr. Spreadsheets told me there was something Harry Potter had to show me rather than tell me… also a bad sign.
We walked back in, and there was the mess.
We had “build your own salad” for dinner, and while this is a healthy option, it is also one with lots of little bowls. Harry Potter had been practicing Spingjitzu (I hate Ninjago). Basically, he spun around in a circle and chucked a throw pillow across the kitchen island in an attempt to hit AsthmaMan… but he’d aimed a bit too low.
He’d thrown the pillow right across the tops of all the little bowls, the salad dressings, and a 2 pound box of blueberries. The floor was covered in broken glass, salad toppings, salad dressing… and 2 pounds of blueberries.
This was the icing on top of an already stressful day.
I had told him over and over not to throw the pillows, but he’d done it anyway and now there was a huge mess to clean up.
I shouldn’t have been so frustrated.
The floor, cabinets, fridge, and door could be cleaned, but it was the principle.
It was that he just hadn’t listened over and over and over and over (I can’t type that enough to describe my frustration).
It was the fact that his sister had almost eaten broken glass, that I had to mop when I had 10,000 other time sensitive things to do, and that he spilled all the blueberries (I don’t know why this one really set me off).
I was angry. Like steam coming out of my ears angry.
After a bit I calmed down, I will admit that it helped that he was sent to his room and I didn’t have to talk to him while I cleaned up the mess.
This was one of those motherhood situations that I am not going to miss when he’s an adult.
A good friend reminded me recently that we are raising our children to be strong and independent people so some day they can take care of themselves and raise their own families. I reminded myself of that with every smashed blueberry I fished out from under the fridge.
So some day this defiant and independent side of Harry Potter is going to serve him well.
Some day the imagination that leads him to believe a throw pillow are ninja stars is going to lead to great discoveries and creative solutions to problems.
Let’s hope that’s true.